Tears n Rain

Bleep!! With the usual amount of dread, I answered my bleep this morning and was groaning inwardly as an SHO gave me a list of jobs to do for patients that weren't my own. Halfway through the list, I came across said SHO surfing the Internet and answering his e-mails. The following conversation then took place:

Me : You don't seem that busy. Would you mind helping me out with the job list you gave me?
SHO : Oh, I've got some important e-mails to reply.
Me : What sort of important e-mails?
SHO : Well, it's mumble mumble. And I'm on-call, so I have to be ready anything.
Me : Eh? If you're putting in a venflon, that's not going to stop you from performing your on-call duty.
SHO : But putting in a venflon is a house-officers job, is it not? It's not mine.
Me : Says who?
SHO : Well, I've got thru housemanship and that's how it is.
Me : No it's not. I know consultants who've taken bloods. And these are not even my patients, they are yours!
SHO : You're on ward cover right? So you have to do all the ward jobs.
Me : And you can't help me?
SHO : I'm busy.

At this point, the SHO would've dropped dead if looks could kill. Dead as a squirrel that's been run over multiple times by a bulldozer. But he continued to stare at the computer monitor, and even more unfortunately, he continued to live.

It's amazing how some individuals can make your workplace a living hell, but others have the tendency to make life that much easier. I guess it's one of the challenges of work to not yell 'Fuck off!' even when you have thorough justification. I have to say that my patience has been stretched pretty close to the limit these past few months and amazingly, I find that I'm considered to be one of the more patient ones.

I'm probably feeling a little more at peace this week. I'm still not in the mood for much though, and last weekend I skipped going for Yo-Yo Ma's recital at the Royal Albert, something that had got me jumping just a few months ago. Instead, I spent an enjoyable time doing nothing at Newcastle and catching up on the Brighton Grove folks. Elly was nice enough to bake a banana cake as a way of cheering me up. Brought over quite a huge amount of goodies over as well, but although I told myself that we'll have enough kuih 'till this time next year, I think I have to take back my word. It'll probably last 'till January, if we're lucky.

The weather is miserable as usual, although the night sky tends to be rather beautiful. The next few weeks will be both miserable and exciting, as I've got an X-mas ball and classical concert just before going on-call on my b'day; and then I'm on nights over the new year before going off on holiday with Radzi. But I look forward to it and now that I've finally bought myself the annual pair of gloves, I wouldn't mind the weather too much!

This is my current fav song:

James Blunt
Tears And Rain

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.I'm so cold from fear.