Why don't you just drop dead?

Today's been a good day. Surprisingly. With 46 patients on my wee list, medical students away on holiday and my SHO sunning herself in Mauritius, I was pretty sure that I'd be thoroughly fucked this week. But so far so good. Probably due to the fact that most of the patients aren't THAT sick.

Another reason for this grin on my face is that I've received a bit of feedback from the folks on my ward today, along with some from Dr Mac. It was enough to make me feel good about myself; as my friend mentioned to me just now, all the loss of weight was not in vain! I guess it feels good to know that you're doing a good job, and as much as I don't really care about the impressions that I make on people, good feedback from senior physicians are always welcomed.

Funnily enough, that was another aspect of me that was commented upon. Apparently I've 'got balls' and am not afraid to speak out. Wherelse I was criticised for this in my previous rotation in surgery, it was seen as a good thing this time round. I guess different people react to me differently. Don't think the nurse that almost cried because of me would appreciate this aspect of my personality.

Sweetie said that House reminds her of me. I wouldn't quite mind, but I haven't reached his genius levels yet. If ever.

One of the benefits of this recent ruling re non-EU docs not being allowed to work in the UK is the fact that I find myself relieved of the burden of needing to make a good impression on people. Yes, you still need to be friendly with your colleagues but I don't bother with the extra mile. I hug my patients, I joke around with my ward pals and even Dr Mac (sent him an SMS the other day which was probably a first for me) but I don't bother with the stuck-up folks who refuse to acknowledge a junior's presence unless they need a piece of paper. Yeah, everybody says Good morning to him 'cause he is a senior doc with lots of connections, but why should I bother respecting folks who don't respect me? Should I give a fuck?

Many would argue that I should.

I probably will when I get back to Malaysia and my progress through my medical career will depend on my boss' signature. Bosan nyer...I really can't be bothered to network and kiss ass, but we will all need to do so at some point I presume. I guess the main reason I'm happy today is that the compliments I've received were a result of me being observed purely for my work rather than for any other reason, and that at the end of the day makes it all worthwhile.

And it's always intriguing to find out how people view you, as they may be looking at you from angles that you've hardly noticed before. For example, Elly's comment on my approach to friends last weekend was surprising, but in retrospect, probably quite true! Which reminds me, 2 buddies of mine have recently started work over at vascular surgery and I wish the best of luck to the both of you!