Err...

Courtesy of Kudo's blog.

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT) You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

Coasting with what I'm born with? I wish...

Pening

Woke up this morning, and felt generally unwell. Chatted with Sweetie, and decided that it’d be a good idea to call in sick for the first time. So I called the appropriate people and made the appropriate arrangements and swaps (was supposed to be on-call today), followed by an enjoyable chat with Sweetie. But this feeling of unwellness was self-induced anyway – prior to 7pm yesterday, the only items that I had consumed were 2 cups of coffee, a blueberry muffin and a tiramisu. Oh, and a glass of water. By the evening, I was (rather unsurprisingly) having a horrible headache and feeling quite dizzy.

Weekend was good though, as it tends to be. Ellina’s back, and she stamped her authority by winning her first game of Monopoly, a game which I’ll probably stop playing soon since everyone’s quite keen on teaming up against me!

Saturday was filled with various bits of activities – mundane stuff like cutting my hair and doing a bit of shopping (including getting my hands on 3 week’s worth of comics) and more exciting bits of hanging around and going out for dinner with the other musketeers. This time, we opted for a new tapas bar (think it’s called El Castano) at Jesmond. Food wasn’t too bad although more could be done to improve the service. For example, a better command of English.

Having regaled each other with tales from the past few weeks (including a rather hilarious tale of a pervy patient getting an erection during a scrotal examination), we retired to Reem’s to catch the graduation DVD. I was rather amazed to think that it’s been only 3 months since the event. Feels almost like a lifetime away. It was fun listening to the fashion criticisms as well as listening to gossip about some individuals that I didn’t even know existed.

Met up with Imaan for breakfast, and had a long chat (having not met her in about 3-4 months) as well as a browse through her wedding pics. After which, I went off to the Tyneside cinema to catch Howl’s Moving Castle with Jo. It was also showing at the Odeon, but I prefer to have my movies subtitled rather than dubbed, so I ignored the latter.

This latest movie by Hayao Miyazaki (of Spirited Away (winner of the Academy’s Best Animated Feature in 2003) and Princess Monokoke fame) did not disappoint. I’m not really into anime, but I did enjoy the movies mentioned above, and was looking forward to Howl’s Moving Castle, which is a story based on Diana Wynne Jones work in which a young girl by the name of Sophie is magically transformed into an old crone and the journey that she finds herself in her efforts to lead a normal life.

Miyazaki (who has been likened to Walt Disney) is known for his beautiful and meticulous imagery (his studio is possibly the only major studio left that utilises traditional hand-drawn cell animation for its art), as well as the ability to bring forward stories in a simple but melodious way that tends to appeal to most age groups.

I’ve been told that a couple of people complained about this movie being too complicated to follow, but I have to admit to being rather surprised since the plot is rather easy to follow and is definitely bound to more rationality than Spirited Away was. Then again, one has to bear in mind that one is watching a fairy tale and there’s not much point in asking ‘How the hell does the castle move?’ in such situations.

I won’t divulge much about the story (which incorporates anti-war sentiments right up to the importance of romance) or its various bits of intrigue. My favourite character is probably a 10-foot-tall hopping scarecrow though, whilst Jo thinks that the wizard Howl is ‘pretty fit!’.

Today’s been good – I’ve been sufficiently recharged to look forward to work tomorrow and get myself mentally prepared for the possibility of being in the only person in my team next week. Was disappointed to learn that Michael Nyman will be performing at The Sage on a weekday, and that the cheapest ticket for Coldplay’s performance in Newcastle is a cool 75 quid. But I did get my hands on a standing ticket for Bon Jovi’s concert in Glasgow next June. Not sure if I’ll actually be going, but if I don’t, there’s always eBay.

Lepak

Yesterday, my team and I had one of the most amazing on-calls ever, featuring a grand total of 13 patients being admitted over a period of 24 hours. We saw more patients, of course, but this is quite possibly the first time that so few were admitted, and I’m not complaining that it was my team who derived the benefit of such a treacle of admissions. Allowed us to spend time sitting in the office as we partook in more worthy activities like gossiping and discussing the German elections.

It’s been a good week so far, stemming from the good weekend that was spent in Edinburgh. Didn’t really do much in Edinburgh except to bask in good company amid the various meals that we gorged on. For once, we didn’t really have to watch our spending as we indulged ourselves in gourmet meals or as I watched Radzi get shouted at boot-camp style (instead of being sung Happy-Birthday) at TGIF.

Managed to sneak in a couple of movies as well – The 40-Year-Old Virgin (which is hilarious and is one of Radzi’s fav comedy over the past few years) and the DVD of The Story of Us (which consists of some pretty good acting and dialogue and is touching and soppy and naturally reminded me of Sweetie).

Will be going out for dinner with the others from the Geriatrics team tomorrow night, as a couple of the registrars will be leaving. And on Friday, I’ll be off to Newcastle to catch up with some old buddies. So here’s looking forward to a relaxing few days.

Fridays are meant to be good

Today has been one of the more eventful days in the six weeks that I've been a medical house officer.

The morning was filled with the usual Friday ward round and multidisciplinary meeting. In between, I had a go at my first pleural chest, having assited in a couple of others earlier (I seem to have various 'themes' each week, and pleural aspiration seems to be the dominant one this week). At this point in time, I think I'm doing a rather ok job with venflons and ABGs, but perversely, I'm now getting pretty crap at drawing blood. Why? I have no clue.

Had a pleasantly lazy afternoon. Was able to gulp down some pasta and juice, before stepping back to the ward with the hope that this Friday afternoon would be like the others I've had i.e. tidying up various loose ends prior to the weekend.

And then, things took a dive in the space of 10 minutes.

First, a patient started having seizures. I was literally pulled to his bedside by a nurse who was getting rather anxious. Luckily, the sister was there and being the veteran that she was, she became the island of calm that everyone needed. I managed to get a venflon in (which can be rather tricky when the arm's moving about). And just as I finished writing the prescription to help his fits, the ward's alarm bell went off.

I walked into a cubicle, and the SHO who works with the other team on my ward was busy checking an old man's pulse. She caught my eye and nodded, and I dashed off to call 2222, the number for a cardiac arrest. And on my run back, I kept going 'Fuck!', it being the first time I knew I'd be actively involved in a cardiac arrest (I had only observed previously).

Once I got back to the room, the patient seemed pretty much the picture of death. We started CPR, and I was in charge of chest compressions. I felt a sickening 'crunch' as I broke a bone or two or three in his ribcage when I pressed down, but I soon went into auto-pilot. The crash team arrived, defibrillated him a couple of times and rather surprisingly, he regained consciousness. And just as that happened, a patient in the ward next door had a cardiac arrest and with looks of bewilderment, the cardiac team left.

The man was stable an hour later, when I was told that one other patient of mine had just died. Although it wasn't entirely unexpected (he had cancer), I wasn't expecting it this soon, having just chatted with him earlier this morning about Rooney being a disgrace to English football. After certifying his death, I walked back to reception where my consultant told me that a patient of ours had suffered from severe cerebral haemorrhages at various bits of his brain. In other words, he didn't have long to live.

With this in mind, we had a chat with his wife and son, who remained rather stoic throughout the whole discussion. It was only after 15 minutes, as we were about to leave, that the frail little old lady said 'We shared everything for 55 years and now he'll be leaving' and broke down into her son's arms and started sobbing.

And for the first time since I started work at geriatrics, I felt a little depressed.

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to spending the weekend over at Radzi's in Edinburgh.

Annoyance

By now, most of us would've heard about the disaster that has struck New Orleans and the other various towns and cities that have been ravaged by Hurricane Katrina. We'd also have heard about how the people of the world's richest country had to wait for a full 5 days before the powers that be were galvanised into action. President Bush was too busy holidaying and entertaining business guests. Vice-President Cheney was... what was it? Oh yes, on holiday. And Ms Rice, defender of minority rights, was particularly busy. She was catching a musical and shopping in NY.

Then there's also the fact that the Bush administration has ignored warnings of the possibility of this catastrophe happening from as far back as 2001, the fact that the environment was pretty much left to (literally) burn as money was pumped elsewhere and how the Department of Homeland Security pretty much fucked things up. My prayers go out to the survivors - I can't quite imagine how it's like to live in a city's accumulated filth with no place to go for refuge.

There are 2 things that have really annoyed me though.

1. A Christian organisation said that New Orleans' destruction was part of God's punishment 'cause a number of abortion clinics were destroyed and from certain satellite pics, a shape of a foetus can be discerned. This is similar to claims from certain mullahs that the tsunami was an event engineered by God to punish irresponsible Muslims.

I mean, what the fuck?

It's really easy to say that so-and-so deserved to be punished by God especially when the accusations come from people with no vested interests in the places that were destroyed or to conveniently forget that the disasters might have been on a much smaller scale if the human element of stupidity was addressed on a more critical basis. But no... obviously these people know how God thinks and would like to hark back to times akin to ancient China, where natural disasters were seen as signs of God's displeasure. And the poor souls who're left have to suffer this bit of added nonsense on top of all their personal sufferings.

Oh, and that mosque that was still in standing in Aceh when everything else was destroyed; it wasn't a divine sign. It's just the only building in the area that was built with stronger material since the people didn't mind spending that extra bit of money on religious purposes. Which kinda contradicts the whole you're-being-punished-'cause-you're-bound-for-hell theory.

2. In the aftermath of the tsunami, the oil-rich country of Kuwait gave the relief fund an initial sum US$1 million. This was raised to US$10 million (the same amount Schumacher donated) following an outcry by its own press (Saudi also raised its donation after the press' outcry). Qatar was marginally better, with a sum of US$25 million.

Bear in mind that this tragedy occured to a 3rd world countries - countries that were brought to their knees during the economic crisis of the late 90s, countries with barely enough money to keep their economies afloat. Countries who had no warning about the tsunamis and had to cope with the unexpected.

Now compare these countries with the States, the world's richest country whose leaders deliberately pumped money in ventures that resulted in a lack of funds for the protection of areas like the Mississippi basin which are known to be vulnerable to hurricanes and the likes. A country who has more than enough money to handle this emergency, although Bush's initial reaction was to reject any financial assitance for fear of being perceived as 'weak'.

Qatar has donated US$100 million without being asked and Kuwait is donating a fine US$500 million worth of oil products and other humanitarian aid to its ally - yes sir, that's half a billion US dollars. I don't mind, but why the double standards? Besides the obvious aim of kissing some ass? So much for all the bullshit about Islamic co-operation and the such. All this talk about helping fellow Muslims around the world and giving for charity just irks me 'cause the needy don't necessarily get what they deserve. That's one of reasons I hardly give any money for people collecting for the Palestines 'cause something's wrong somewhere when the Palestinians are suffering but Yasser Arafat's widow lives as a millionairess in Paris.

Actually, there's a 3rd annoying event - John Bolton's (the American ambassador to the UN) role in reducing the final draft to be presented at the UN on Friday to pieces of paper that are probably worth less than the toilet papers you find in NHS hospitals. For all the talk about addressing imbalances in the world and taking steps to decrease poverty, rein in the arms' race or protect the environment, the meeting of 149 world leaders to commemorate the UN's 60th anniversary will be filled with the usual hot air and empty promises.

Oh, and another annoying thing... Neil Gaiman (yup, he of Sandman fame aka one of my all-time favourite authors) will be signing his books in Newcastle in November. Yup, in Newcastle! And what happens? It's on a weekday and that means I'm working. Sigh...

Weegies

Got back from Glasgow a couple of hours back. It was a rather pleasant trip, highlighted by the good food that Oja, Mq and I devoured. This included crab meat enchilada and a rather lovely banana and chocolate crepe (which Sweetie would probably wrinkle her nose at!). I’ve been told that I should be eating more (found out that I weighed 65kgs this morning) but I think I should start exercising again. If not, I’ll end up with skinny arms and legs and a flabby tummy.

I have to say I’ve grown fond of Glasgow over my few trips over to the place, and this is mainly due to the presence of some pretty entertainment venues, good restaurants/cafes and shops. In fact, it’s quite the shopping haven, some might say. Whatever it is, it’s the biggest and nearest city to Carlisle – the train ride takes 80 minutes compared to the 90 minutes to Newcastle. Although Newcastle’s geographically closer, the service is via a local train with lots of stops as compared to the new Virgin train to Glasgow, which is fantastically fast and quiet. It’s probably one of the few vehicles that I’m able to place my head against the window and fall asleep without worrying about being awoken by unexpected shudders.

Got myself a couple of books, which will be added to the pile of unread books. But I’ll be reading one of ‘em (Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell) right after I’m done with my current read (Hippocratic Oaths, which is quite illuminating so far) and maybe at some point after that I might get down to starting CT’s Chronicles of Narnia.

Rather surprisingly, I’m feeling better after the trip. Was feeling rather flu-ey over Friday and Saturday (the symptoms seem to correlate with on-calls and the day after) and I was expecting the travelling to do my head in. But I woke up today feeling rather rejuvenated. Which is rather surprising ‘cause I didn’t exactly have an uninterrupted sleep. But I’m not complaining.

Sweetie finally met up with Ellina, who passed her some stuff from me, including my graduation portrait. I have to say it’s not the most flattering pics of moi, especially since I’ve got a rather dodgy, leering smile. Why? Beats me. But a couple of copies are now with Sweetie, who’s probably laughing her head off at the sight of it! But at least she’s feeling happier now after a rather rough weekend.

I have to say that I’ve been missing Sweetie loads lately. In a way, I’m lucky that work has been a distraction and that prevents me from moping too much. Then again, I’m counting the weeks ‘till I finally get to hold her in my arms at the airport again (Kudo – I’m leaving the week after Raya) and see that lovely grin of hers. Sigh…

I’ve been told that I get too mushy in my blog at times, but please forgive me if I gave the impression that I give a damn. What I need now is for someone to invent the long-awaited teleportation machine. Or for my mutant powers of teleportation to manifest itself. Somehow, I have this feeling I’ll still have to wait for that MAS flight…

Shows

I’m finally making an entry in my blog using the Internet connection from my room. Yup, I’ve finally connected to the information superhighway via the phone line in my room, but one has to admit that using a dial-up connection after years of broadband is like going back to a Proton after being given the opportunity to spin around in a Beemer.

Beggars can’t be choosers, no?

I’m still having busy days, but it’s been ‘good’ busy days i.e. I feel that I’ve achieved something during the day or that I don’t mind staying back for a few extra minutes to help out on the ward, especially when the nurses are very helpful to me in the first place. Also discussed the possibility of an audit in the evening with my consultant, but we’ll see how that goes.

Funnily enough (not funny ha-ha) the best part of my day today, or rather the most satisfying bit was talking to a recently deceased patient’s relatives. Didn’t really do much medicine, but they went back feeling better and getting a hug from an appreciative human being does make one feel good about one’s self.

Which reminds me of the show Grey’s Anatomy, which I caught yesterday. It’s supposed to be the next big American show to hit this side of the pond, but then again so is every other new sitcom they try to sell. It was not too bad, with a scattering of good jokes and points about internship that ring true. It’s not as exciting as the other 2 shows I’ve been watching regularly though - House and Lost.

Another show that caught my eye was Rock Star – INXS. A Pop-Idol-like show to find the new front man for INXS, except it’s hard-rocking and nothing like pop. I have to say that the singers were a heck of a lot better than the ones that tend to populate the other talent-scouting shows, and the performances are pretty top notch too. But then again, I might just be a tad bit biased.

Got Glasgow to look forward to this weekend (Oja’s birthday) and Edinburgh the next (Radzi’s). That’ll keep me busy for the next few weekends, after which I should probably stay quiet in Carlisle. Well, after a weekend in Newcastle perhaps. For the moment though, I better mentally prepare myself for Friday, which is bound to be busy like hell following my on-call this coming Thursday.

Whoosh

I'm quite surprised how quickly the past month has flew by. One minute, we were quivering over the thought of being doctors, and the next, we're bitching about unsupportive staff or talking about how that nurse who's the epitome of Florence Nightingale. And all the while, we've been slowly integrated into a system and life that we've barely begun to comprehend. Scary?

Hell yeah.

I've been told a few times that I'll always remember my first patient, the one person who'll stick in my mind until the last days of my career. And funnily enough, I have no recollection whatsoever about the first person I could've considered to be a patient of mine. It's probably 'cause I've been clerking and examining patients since medical school. And it could probably be also due to the fact that the main concerns I had during my first week of work revolved around the location of blood forms and the radiology department and various other bits and pieces that are among the more important things for a house officer to be aware about.

This past month has also changed my attitude towards pagers. It used to be rather exciting to have one as a medical student. Now, I wish I could just chuck it in the bin whenever I feel like it. Whenever I get a bleep, the first thing that comes to mind is 'What have I done?!', followed by 'What the hell do they want now?'. I now make it a point to switch off the darn thing every evening after being accidentally bleeped one night at 2am.

Another sad thing I've noticed is that whenever I look at a person's hands, the first thing that comes to mind is whether or not s/he has a good set of veins for cannulation. I can just imagine Sweetie shaking her head at me in pity. I'd do the same if I was a non-medic.

A prayer for those who were affected by Katrina. Hopefully this will serve to remind President Bush that he should rethink his country's policy of wanting to pull out of the Kyoto agreement (along with the other 749 amendments that the Americans wanted from the UN that were more or less rather selfish demands) and do more to help our planet's long-term survival. We've been experiencing some rather weird weather patterns throughout the globe recently, although thankfully Carlisle has been spared so far. Fingers crossed!

The main question in my mind at the moment though is this : to buy or not to buy?